Really, really more than you want to know.

Based on her mastery of metaphor, @claireheath must be a writer. Or simile. Which is which again?

Have such a volcanically deep zit laying roots in my chin that it feels like someone hit me with a right cross.Sun Feb 14 23:44:50 via web

Posted: July 21st, 2010 | No Comments »

How to know your friend is ready to start dating again, courtesy of @choc_milk.

My bff is finally over her ex. I know this because it’s been months since I’ve heard a rant involving his small penis.Wed Feb 17 10:15:35 via Echofon

Posted: July 20th, 2010 | No Comments »

Deanna had a special to-do list on her birthday. She has to get it all done before her party!

Posted: July 19th, 2010 | No Comments »

Some people post life’s little everyday annoyances to Twitter. Like @edcetera.

Stupid yearning in my loins.Thu Jul 08 02:50:24 via twidroid

Posted: July 16th, 2010 | No Comments »

Sir Poopsalot has his own song! Anyone know how it goes?

Posted: July 15th, 2010 | No Comments »

Warning: No matter how hot it gets, avoid pools in Burnsville, MN. At least until @WHACKtackular give the OK.

I hate when I wake up to go poop AND puke. Pffff. I also lost my plug and it could be in a pool in burnsville. :( Fri Jun 18 16:13:23 via txt

Thanks to our submitter: Linda!

Posted: July 14th, 2010 | No Comments »

A careful experiment yielded a fancy discovery. (What, no pics?)

Posted: July 13th, 2010 | No Comments »

Home is where the heart is. Or where you hang your hat. But for @echoz …

You know you are back home when you don’t have to brace yourself before sitting on the toilet bowl. And perspiring whilst taking a dump.Sun Jun 14 16:58:54 via Twitter for iPhone

Posted: July 8th, 2010 | No Comments »

A special ‘Happy Summer’ overshare from @PrincessBeanDip!

Too hot outside to wear panties while I walk the dogThu Jun 11 01:35:13 via Twitter for iPhone

Posted: July 7th, 2010 | No Comments »

Either @joxiclepopsicle burps very loud or on a frequency only dogs can hear.

I just burped loud enough that the dogs downstairs started barking.Fri Jun 25 02:09:57 via web

Posted: July 6th, 2010 | No Comments »